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~ MuchMore than what u think ~13. september My long lost Diary.....So long i haven't update this blog, it had been lefted in a very dark and in the farthest corner of my mind......
.....thought of shut it down, delete all stuffs in here, but afterall, i do think it's not worth destroying things you had been made - things that filled with memories, just like pages of diary for ya childhood time....
So, let it be as it be.... even if i dont think leaving it the way it is - Doin Nothing - is the best choice, but hmmm..... better than doing something bad with it though
incase, if any visitors had come around, pls be my guest @ my new blog online then!!
C Ya around!!
30. november What a bothering day..........- -"Working life do really pressured me......some how , i dont like to be putting expectation on.....still, i will have to
Today so many thing push on me, should i feeling down by these thing, or should i not????
1. The project is going to end, n for my part, it's the biggest part, i suppose, still i couldn't really finished it.......n also, some how i turn to be kind of a center of thought in my work place, everyone asking me for advice...i surely try to help, but somehow my advice doesn't really favored by my boss, kind of what i suggest to other is not the right way to handle the work, n the one who being blame is the one who asking advice from me ( it's not my job, but when my boss is not in, they think that i might be the one who give some advice n "they think" that my advice will be favored by my boss")......n it happen twice ( for 2 diff. thing) today, n surely, i can feel this weird feeling that come straight to me .............. it do dammmm bothering me, it's totally make me down..........for now, i really think that i could possibly be the one that didn't really understand in what I m doing now.......as a result, some how, i m leading those ppl to somewhere else........
2. VDO job i have done wasn't really finished though, so i got to keep up working on it, abit boring i can say, not on work, but for myself that can't do thing right n perfect ......... so i have to keep correcting n correctin it..............my bad
3. My Cat - Meow - has pass away today........she just like one of my family member, losing her, making me feeling like losing someone we get to see everyday..........yes, everything have to go to an end, hoope i can handle it well when the time for something that even worse has come............i'll try....(i dunno whether its really bothering me or not......feel like abit blur blur), my mom had call me around 3:00 or 4:00 pm. n told me that she had found that Meow had pass away since this morning, n she's wondering if i can go home early n take Meow to Wat to do merit and do a cremation for Meow......... i call my bros n sis to go home early to day, so that we can gather n take Meow to Wat.........As i call them, surely, they are surprises n........i dunno how to explain this feeling..........forget about it.............for awhile, my mom had called me again, n tell me that she ask from our neighbor n found out that Wat That-thong (our nearest temple), not allow to do cremation for pet...............so no need to go home early, she will try to figure out what to do..........
I go home abit early today, i wish to see, how Meow look when it's pass away, do it pass away peacefully or what, i knew that this time around is quite cold, n we didnt' really provide Meow a proper bed or something, if Meow feelin kind of cold, she will know where to go to sleep ( somewhere near refrigerator - near the back of it which release heat)..........
As i reach home, i try to look for Meow body, but my mom said that my brother had come home before me n took it to Sukhumvit pet hospital n let them take care of Meow......no one dare to look at Meow body, my mom just kept it in the box n cover it with a cloth............i ask her, how Meow look when she pass away......she said, Meow look just like sleeping as she found Meow in the morning , except that Meow doesn't breath n doesn't move as my mom reach for Meow........
.......still, i really wish to see Meow for the last time
I feel so tense n very upset........without any reason, i feel so weak n tired, i have my dinner n go to sleep rite away, still, my bros. n sis. keep bothering me with this n dat, so i woke up again around 22:00...........
4. like u can c in my previous blog...........it is still bothering!!
I feel so weak n tired..........i know this is not really a bad day, i can imagine much much worse day.........still.........i might not strong enuff as other ppl think, i might not good enuff as other expected......
................But i will try my best........as i wish to go higher n grow stronger..........
..........Life of our own, Live it well................Aja Aja Fighto Fighto !!!
PL. Meow .........i will remember you, wish that in your next life, u could join our family again n could really be one of our family :D
I wish sometimes, it would be good if u can be a human and be another one of my sis. so that we can eat, n share all those good memory in our family, i really wish that..............
......... but for now, Rest in Peace in Heaven na, I love you Meow...............
****Typoing all those phrases, really gonna make me cry wa'..................... 21. november So much more for LIFE!!Finally, got sometime to updating my space!!!
Several thingz happened, good n bad...............
1. I had work for 1 month already, hmmm, abit strange to have to make money for my own instead of asking from my parent..........hope i will not over spend n could keep some too :D
2. The more i work, the more i realized, acutally it makes me feel desperately wanna go to study at Japan, for i c the opportunity for my career(path) - -" ................long way to go anyway
3. My Bday just passed by, Oah had bought me a very very nice Shirt, n it's damm expensive....It's Jaspal, it seems that i m not good enuff to wear it a' 555, my(self) value is even lower than shirt a', i m afraid that if i m wearing it, i will lower the shirt's value a' :D
4. I hanging out like 2 nite/weeks - have to say, this year is the first year ever that i celebrate with my friend and Oah at Jam' BAR, n yes, i dont really have much money for that, still, i do really enjoy it! n the best thing about it is that, i got a cake from my friendz, first time ever to got cake from friend on Bday, i do really " Happy " on my Bday!
Thx to Noiy, Kae, Jate, Choke, M, Bew, Valen, Nan, Pap, Oah! and all those the rest who sent me msg. na' - damm happy for it!@
5. I have finally bought a new phone, it's Sony w550i, after decided for a while, i found it to be the best matched for me!, many function n yes,what i like the best of it, is Truly Surround sound system!
My life had been upgraded! :D
6. Hmmm, i do like what i m doing now, so so work, good environment n colleague, flexible workin time........good relation with boss:D.........but in a way, i want to get higher n higher, i wish that i can do just like what i wish to........i might be very lazi ( acutally i m very lazi :D)......but my wills which drive me from within never stop!!........hope i will not lose it as time goes by, but grow stronger n stronger n finally come true..........
Time will Prove It, Aja Aja Fighto!! :D
PL - these are pics that i use my new mobile to took a', so เห่อ a' 5555 25. oktober .....Desperate soul.....Some how..........
......... a little arguement with Oah do really reminds me of how would it feel like when living each day without her.........
In my soul, it feeling like........
.......The sun never rise, to gimme warm
...... Cold wind struckling andit sky keeps rainin on me over n over
....... I cant really eat, I cant really sleep, feeling like cant breath........
Let me confess, it was all my fault, totally by my stupidity, i wish u to know that i feeling truly sorry for what i had said, but i didn't really mean to said that.........I M SORRY NA...........
Some how, it always me, who hurt you.................
I try n try to say sorry to you.......n yes, i know it, like once a glass had broke, it could never fix into the same old one again..........
Hard ( for me, to make you know that ) I'm Sorry
Everybody needs a little time away
I heard her say, from each other Even lovers need a holiday Far away from each other Hold me now It's hard for me to say i'm sorry I just want you to stay And after all that you've been through I will make it up to you, i promise you And after all that's been said and done You're just a part of me i can't let go Couldn't stand to kept away Not for a day, from your body (baby, i can't live without you, not even a day) PL..we didn't broke up, but this little arguement, really reminds me of "my" world without her..........
What a sadest n longest day of my life......................I m sux.!
I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so I should have held on tight I never should've let you go I did nothing I was stupid I was foolish I was lying to myself I could not fathom that I would ever Be without your love Never imagined I'd be Sitting here beside myself I didn't know you I didn't know me But I thought I knew everything I never felt The feeling that I'm feeling now Now that I don't Hear your voice Or even touch or even kiss your lips Cause I don't have a choice What I wouldn't give To have you lying by my side We belong together When you left I lost a part of me It's still so hard to believe Come back baby please We belong together Who else am I gonna lean on When times get rough Who's gonna talk to me Till the sun comes up Who's gonna take your place Baby nobody else We belong together I can't sleep at night When you're all on my mind Bobby Womack's on the radio Singing to me 'If you think you're lonely now' Wait a minute This is too deep, too deep I gotta change the station So I turn the dial Trying to catch a break And then I hear Babyface I only think of you And it's breaking my heart I'm trying to keep it together But I'm falling apart I'm feeling all out of my element I'm throwing things Crying Trying to figure out Where the hell I went wrong The pain reflected in this song Ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside I need you Need you back in my life baby When you left I lost a part of me It's still so hard to believe Come back baby please We belong together Who else am I gonna lean on When times get rough Who's gonna talk to me Till the sun comes up Who's gonna take your place There ain't nobody else We belong together 7. oktober Now it's time.........Learn to Fly!!!Hi!, haven't update for very very long time, but i m bak with full flavor n lot more stuffs :D
Firstly
I m just done with my very very last exam subject - MD - hopefully, i will pass this subject, cuz i didn't really doing well in this subject. So, since i had finished my exam, i think i could be called an " Unofficial Graduate ", hope it will turn to be a " Graduated" by the time grade come out :D
Second
I m sending my resume quite alot of places, n yeah, 2-4 places had cal bak - I m so happy cuz, atleast some of them call me to interview. Cuz I ( n Yes i know that myself), didn't really have an impressive Academic or experience record.........but surely , i wish that some of my key strength in me would help me to be called!! N yes!! it does!!
Third
Several place call me for interview - then start for intern, some co. are interesting to work with, some are not, but finally i found one that real suit me, i m kind of like it very very much - for now - cuz i dont really know how it's gonna be in the long run - this Co. Advantages (to me) are:
1. It is at President Tower - Chidlom BTS station
It's kind of easy to traveling to by BTS from my house, i take like 15-20 min. to reach there, so i can rest more n wake up abit late,yeah!
2. They dont have work time checking attendance(Tork-Bud), my boss said like, in here we use "Self Respect" system, so no those system will be involved - but surely my boss will look after me instead of those machine !! Spooky!! - but kind of more freedom, i think i like it !
3. My job is to do marketing planning, which require a blend of management and creativity - n this co. allow me to give suggestion and express my idea throughout my work and comment/recommendation on every single thing i had done or what other jobs are. So, it's more like in the time i was studying - not really like a working to me!!
4. Finally, the wage here is somewhere quite good for me, not too high or too low..........
So, every requirement had met, so i choose this place out of 3-4 places had been called! but it is only for now, i dunno what it's gonna be like in the long run, but....from now on i will stop looking for job and concentrate on this thing............I'll give full 100% for it now, what if the thing getting worse, i will get to my second plan then:D... hopefully i wouldn't have to......
Fourth
Today I just bak from OsotSapha Co. - A medicine producer n importer co., my parents seems to be really excited about it , cuz my house is a pharmacy, i knew that my parent deeply - wish me to join these kind of business, that in the long run can be use to continue or improve my family business
There's one thing that abit surprise me n my parent about this co. is that, I dont really remember that i had applied my resume to this co., bcuz one day while i was doing something at my house, they just calling to me and ask me that " The company's marketing position is available now, are you interesting of joining our company for this position?"......eehhh? i do surprise about it, but it twice more for my parent!! :D
They told me that, if i interesting in it , pls send my resume to them....???? actually if it is the co. i had apply with my resume online, they wouldn't ask for that again....rite?, so with that, how can they know that i was looking for marketing position and knowing that my house is a pharmacy????....but whatever, i sent them my resume and after waiting for 2 days, they had called me for interview!!!
Afterall of interviewing n asking about all the information about the co. work description and wages - I can say that probably the job is what i lookin for - but the total system and work itself doesn't give me that much freedom and potential to learn/grow like the first one that i like and surely, the wage and stuff is abit lower than the first place.............. so, better concentrate on my first one would be better :D
Fifth - Conclusion
I still dunno what it's gonna be like for my working life, but seems to start out pretty fine, i think, job( place / wages / scope of working ) is real suit me/ my preference,......both interesting and challenging,but I m still abit longing for my academic time in a way, but like what i had said in the beginning
"NOw it's time ...........Learn to FLY!!!!! "
12. september JuSt ThE 2 oF uS !!!Today Oah coming over to my house, to asking for my help in doing World Civil project and arrangement for her class schedule for next semester. - this the the part i realized that i m getting older n older now, cuz this is my last semester, therefore, no need to worry about those class schedule anymore - good in a way n bad as well :D
About project, i dunno whether i m too strict or no sympathy to the other, even with my GF........... hope she wouldn't be sad by that :D
One thing to confess, it could considered to be my habit, it is that everytime people around me asking for help, first of all i will judge whether the work is too hard for that person or not, after that, judging ( rationally ) whether the person is not in capable of doing their job, so they asking for help, or the only reason they asking for help is that only being too lazy to do the job.
i wouldnt not want to help those who wouldn't help themself first............sounds like bitter person, yes i agree, what a bitter mann! :D
Ok now, bak to the story, so after done with those project thing, i decided to take her to Wat Hualumphong, to make a merit by donate coffin n stuffs necessary for funeral, for those corpse who didn't have relatives to do for them.
It's the first time for me too!! - actually i m not really doing this donation things, cuz i do believe that, if u think right - think good, do things right - good, and the most important is to serve your parent well - dat would be the greatest thing a man can do already, so........yeah, dat's what i think personally ~
So we went there around 5, but before that, i let the taxi stop by one restaurant, where sells a very delicious Yen-ta-Four, i had never forgot how good it is, n surely , i want the one i love to taste it too:D
All the stuffs almost finished by the time we reach the restaurant, still, there still left enough for 2 :D lucky we r!!
After done with it, we continue walking to our destination, which about 2-3 bus stop far from the restaurant n finally we reach there,Por - Tek-Tueng Org. There are alot of people in the place, crowded, even if it is on Sunday!!
It open 24 Hr. just like 7-11, open to recieve donation from all people who wish to help no relatives corpse, which need some money n stuff to doing their funeral and those merit ceremony for the death.
U can donate as much as you want , and it takes 500 Baht for one full package for one corpse, if less than that, u will need to combine with others - (in a way to complete one package). So i decided to do 500 for my parent and another 500 for myself and my brother and sister, and Oah doing for her family, too.
First of all, they will give u a card, pink-red in color, to write down the name of the donator and amount of money u wish to donate. Then they will write down donator's name to another paper which have unique design n symbol, and also some pharse in chinese - there are also Thai translated on that card too, it saids like - Wish all the happiness and luck to this people(donator), who had donated to those who needed - something like that. After that, get paid, n they will give u both paper to continue the process.
The next thing is that, u will need to take the pink-red color paper to paste on to the coffin, which placed around there, kind of to tell those spirit or whoever that this coffin being donated by you. Then you will have to go to the next room where there are many Chinese god sculpture and pay respect to all of them by joss stick, n to pay respect to all of them, u will need total of 20 joss sticks!!, this is the worst part of ceremony, cuz the smoke from those smoke from those joss stick do really hurt my eyes, i m feeling/ looking like paying respect to them in crying!!:D
After done with paying respect to all of the god, u will have to burn the another paper they gave you, remember?, the one that wrote down donator name n have those symbol and chinese phrase........kind of to let the god know that u have do a merit.............sounds funny, i think, doing good, no need to declare or announce, rite?? :D
N yes, this is the real worst worst part of the story, after done all stuffs, we goes to Siang-Sium-See (Chinese ritual to forecast/predict your future, by asking god what u want to know n start shaking a bottle like thing, which will contain alot of wood stick with several number. You keep shaking until one of the stick falling out, read the number and get the answer, which they will provided near by the place. I asking about myself n the answer i get is not really good, so i leave the place with kind of poor mood, it's really turn me down, but, it's my life, fight for it then :D
So we continue to MBK, by bus, we stop by to have some bread and milk at Nom-Mon, then i go deliver Oah to her home, n get bak home, exhaustingly!!
End Of The ( Happy and Meritful ) Dayy!!
Eventhough, the answer for my pray wasn't that good, but what i got now, warm n loveful people arond me ( Family and Friend, yes, Oah too :D), I could never ask for more!! - NO More Nor Less - I love what i m now!! 11. september Save The Last Dance For Me !!Finally, this is the day i waiting for - Dancing Ceremony for Social Dancing class....
First of all, my impression toward this party is
" it's not right, but it's (not really) ok!!"
I reach the party around 6, a little struggling with the ticket to enter the party, reach to the table n greeting people in my class. Taking picture, talking about this n that bla bla bla, then party being open by Brother around 6:30, there are some dancing performance, n Brother was invited to dancing to open the floor. While the music played, food start to serve, some eatin n some are dancin all people dress beautifully......such a nice atmosphere to Chill out!
Food is the part the totally disappointin me, cuz i think these kind of food are not worthwhile for 400 Baht i had paid for this, i think it worth only like 200, n i think that the other 200 might have to make it out of the dancing floor then :D
For awhile after having food,People start to get out to the floor n dance, including ME!!
It's nice, but abit too crowded, but at least i get to do some step!! :D
Party was finished around 9:00, all Ajarn n Brother had left the party, so they turn off the light n start playing rock, pok, techno, dancing music - which you can mostly hear in da Tek n Pub, some ppl still stay n dance, some also left.
I find no use of staying any longer, so i decided to left the party too, reaching home by 4:45 - on time to watch my favorite soccer club - Arsenal - having a match with Middle boro'
- My soul flew out of my body after the match for the score of 2 - 0 - Arsenal R.I.P., n me as well 55 :D - it is only a game, not win today, fight harder to win for tomorrow!! fighto fighto :D
Afterall, like what i said in the beginning -
- it's not right, but it's (not really) ok !! :D
it's not what i really expected to be, too low, compare to what i have expected the party to be - I dunno whether this is usual or what i have experienced in the past is too good???? but any way, eventhough it is not goin in the way you expected or wanted to be, but atleast you get a chance to have it ( this experience ), while lots of people can't even think about!
Another one precious memory for me
- Social dance class -
 So, Darling - Save the last dance for me  PL.i want to thx Ajarn Boonbanjong very much, for allowing me to join her class without having to pay for the subject credit - i do feel thankful for that - n one thing to Ajarn,
" U are not only taugh me how to Dance,
But U also taugh me to Love to Dance too "
Some special thing cant be taugh/express by word or action
 - But by Heart - N it's you, who taugh me to love it by heart!!
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